Ships that i will be genuinely unwell and ill-adjusted about

Ok so like a couple weeks ago i indulged in my inner haterism and it made me feel more alive than any drug ever has or could. Unapologetically spewing out my bad takes made me feel like i was meeting god. HOWEVER. one of my points was like "i don't get people who have insanely strong t/b opinions like it is litchrally not that deep." and for the most part i basically stand by that like i'm generally very neutral on a lot of that (ummmm as long as its done right). but i did realise over the course of the next several days (and thanks to a dw post i stumbled across the other day and have since searched tirelessly for and absolutely cannot find again for the life of me) that like i absolutely do have some hashtag problematic obsessions with it in certain ships. Here r those ships.

2min (lee know/seungmin)

This was literally what started this because i decided to read skz fic for the first time in agessss and i went straight to 2min because i have stockholm syndrome and like..... ok not to be dramatic but lino would literally go to his grave before letting seungmin top him. I am right about this. And it's not even because he's like, the ultimate top or whatever it's because it's seungmin. like look at their relationship for like three seconds don't look away just look at them. Ok now make eye contact w me. Do u think lino would let seungmin fuck him. Like it is fundamentally at the core of their dynamic don't even argue w me. I do think how strong i feel about this is partially a bleeding over from jaemjen because like jeno is smiley subby puppy and so is seungmin LIKE. dogboy sees dogboy. Jaemjen (in a sexual context) are literally just what would happen if 2min liked or even knew each other.

johnmark

I know this one is easy to ascribe to like age/size/whatever but honestly even setting those things aside it's just them. Mark is so unreasonably obsessed w johnny in a way that johnny doesn't ever seem to fully reciprocate like. Johnny teases mark and likes to embarrass and fluster him whereas mark seems to have this almost untouchable hero-worship level of admiration for johnny. He clearly just thinks that johnny is the absolute coolest person on earth and ok so like. This is a very reductive way of explaining it, but i honestly think the deal is that johnny just. Wouldn't be willing to put in the effort to let mark top him. Like i luvvv johnny but he is so obviously selfish in bed unlike mark who's a total people pleaser (at least he is for johnny). like if they fucked i don't think it would even occur to either of them to do it the other way round.

jaemjen

Already explained the deal w 2min but like ummmmm that is literally how it is. Also think its in no small part just fandom ptsd from like biker bad boy jeno x soft girlfriend pink hair jaemin. I guess as i'm typing this im realising that it's actually not just jaemjen but also renmin like i think jaem is just. Very top. EXCEPT with haech that's one where it could kinda go either way but is fundamentally a thousand times sexier when theyre both tops and everyone is a lil mean to each other. I don't remember what this bullet point was about. NEXT!

dohyuck

Listen ok i am generally very committed to the haechan switch denomination. Cos i think he possesses attributes of both good top and good bottom. BUT i can feel myself slowly getting dragged into the world of subbottom haech in no small part thanks to this ship. Leaf was like "haechan is objectively a switch but to me he is eternal subbottom" and like this is just that. Ok does this make sense but like. In a dohyuck situation hyuck has very little he can contribute to the dom/top elements and SO MUCH he can for the sub/bottom elements and then doyoung is the opposite. Its simple mafematics luv.

yangten

I think i'm generally more of a top yangyang enjoyer but like. It's this tweet. Like that is litchrally them and i'm not saying it's like. Healthy lmao. But thats the way it isssssss. And like i guess you could do it the other way round but you would have infinitely less fun and at that point why r u even doing it. Something about fuckboy no homo yangyang letting ten fuck him is like.... so beautiful and delightful to me.

Do u think this is proof that i'm like. toxic. actually i don't care because in all of these instances i am literally right. There r probably more because nct has like two hundred and something various shipping combinations but apparently these are the ones i'm willing to go to bat for. Byeeee